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Massachusetts couples can retain control in divorce

Massachusetts residents undergoing a divorce may feel that remaining in control during the process is akin to riding a roller coaster -- one minute you're on top of the precipice, the next, you're plunging into an abyss. If you feel that you're losing your grip, try these tips to take back control of your life.

Come to terms with your finances. The only way to accurately compute the amount of child support, alimony and the division of marital property is to have a firm grasp on the details of all the assets and both you and your partner's income. It's also vital to know the outstanding debts of both you and your partner. Only then will you be able to glimpse the true financial landscape.

Make sure that you are maintaining both your physical and emotional health during these trying times. Now is not the time to burn the candle at both ends or let yourself go. If you're not already, begin eating well, getting plenty of rest, and exercising regularly. Your efforts will be rewarded with more energy and vitality.

Negotiation is truly an art form. Understand that you have to be willing to "give some to get some," and the first step is being able to articulate what is most important for you to retain from the marriage. Your attorney can help you sort through the process and focus on things and positions that really matter.

Letting go of anger can be the hardest, and most necessary, thing to do. Especially if you are the aggrieved party in an adulterous marriage, it can be almost impossible to release those resentful, angry feelings. Understand, however, that holding onto them is like ingesting toxic poison. Resentment and anger cloud good judgment and are a concrete barrier to permanent happiness.

A skilled attorney can guide clients through the rocky shoals of divorce and help them chart a new course to happy, productive lives post-divorce.

Source: Huffington Post, "5 Ways to Take Control of Your Divorce Before It Takes Control of You" Cheryl and Joe Dillon, Apr. 21, 2014

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