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How to keep it together during divorce

It doesn't matter if both parties were eager to split, divorce has a way of taking the wind out of our sails. You are changing the status quo permanently, and even if a divorce was the last thing that you wanted, you will need to adapt to the reality that it is the new normal. Below are some tips for managing your divorce and coming out on top.

-- Keep your emotions in check. This is not a good time to fall apart and let others run the show. Stay in touch with your attorney and remain knowledgeable about the process so that there are no unpleasant surprises.

-- Rely on your network of support. Family and friends can keep your spirits up and pitch in with childcare, but if you find you need more help working out lingering issues, seek out a therapist or spiritual counselor for advice.

-- Be the captain of your team. Choose attorneys, accountants and therapists with care. Get recommendations and check references. When problems develop, deal with them immediately.

-- Keep meticulous records. You need copies of tax returns, bank accounts, credit card statements, investment portfolios, property deeds, titles to vehicles and more. Take pictures of assets like collections, jewelry and paintings.

-- Learn about the process. There are online resources, and libraries and bookstores are full of items dealing with the divorce process. Look up Massachusetts statutes dealing with family law and custody issues.

-- Remain positive. There is life post-divorce. Envision the changes that will turn your life around and provide stability and fulfillment.

Source: Equality in Marriage, "Manage Your Divorce From The Start," accessed April. 09, 2015

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